Love is not enough to keep a relationship going, it is definitely not enough to conquer all problems, but it certainly helps. [For more, check out: Things I love about Japan: Couple Wear] Intercultural dating is a lot of things. Two years later, and I never know what to expect on dates. But I really fell in love with the culture once I started dating Ryosuke. He was the one who helped me understand the types of sexism in Japan (for more, check out this post) But living with him, his family, and his friends, I have been given the enormously unique opportunity of doing participant observation of the Japanese culture.A romantic walk on the beach is never just a romantic walk on the beach. And, well, I started this blog to document what I found.During race discussions at my school, most of the white women I talk to say things like “I’ve never seen racism, so I don’t think it still exists” or “racism isn’t real – they are just imagining it!” Or men that say “sexism isn’t a problem, women over exaggerate everything!It was heartbreaking to watch my friend’s intercultural relationship fall apart (and even harder to not pick a side).
Unfortunately, racism is still alive, all over the world. I wrote a piece about this that went viral, “dear world, saying my husband is ‘attractive for an Asian guy’ isn’t a compliment, it’s actually kind of racist.” No one seems to like the people their friend’s choose to date.
If you’re ‘lucky’ no one will come up to you in the street and ask “why are you dating him? The closer the friend, the more you tend to dislike their choice of a partner.
Expect the roles to be reversed on you, except this time, your friends and family have a whole new way to judge your partner – race, religion, culture, and cultural beliefs. In the course of your AMWF relationship, you will run across old friends and new acquaintances who want to ‘save you from ignoring this obvious problem.’ Most of them mean well. But people’s words hurt a lot more than they realize. While it would be foolish to ignore the impact Japanese culture will have on my relationship, our foreign cultures are not the determining factor on whether we can have a successful marriage.
Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world.
The only comparable feeling is probably when I won tickets to see a live taping of Stephen Colbert, discovered chocolate soy milk (milk allergy), or, like, my future kid gets married.