When you’re older and ready to start dating, I hope that you will do the same. ” Adults generally take a cynical view of teenage romance, as if it were a chemical imbalance in need of correction. “You know what they’re like when their hormones start raging.” A boy and a girl float down the street holding hands, dizzy in love, and all parents see is testosterone and estrogen out on a date.Just look at the words used to describe affection between two young people: “infatuation,” “crush,” “puppy love.” If it feels like love to the two puppies, isn’t it love?Acknowledge your teen’s pain but assure her that she will be happy again.“I understand how upset you are, and I know you may feel like your sadness is never going to go away.Those that endure until graduation day rarely survive the post-high-school years.If one or both young people leave home, the physical distance has a way of opening an emotional distance between them, and eventually the relationship coasts to a halt.
“Parents should never minimize or ridicule a first love,” says Tucson pediatrician Dr. “It is a very important relationship to teenagers, and it’s important for another reason, in that it is their first intimate relationship with someone outside their family.” When “going out” evolves into “going steady,” it is natural to worry that things are getting too serious too soon.They march off en masse to the mall or to the movies, or join a gang tossing a Frisbee on the beach.Don’t confuse group dating with double-dating or triple-dating.The breakup of a romance can be painful at any stage of life.Still, when an adult relationship ends badly, at least the wounded party knows from having weathered other disappointments that the all-too-familiar hollow feeling and veil of depression will inevitably lift.It will probably be some time before he abandons the hope that she’ll realize her mistake and come crawling back. However, blues that linger for more than a few weeks may warrant professional counseling.Remember, too, that teen relationships on the wane frequently flicker on again. Encourage him to get together with friends—but don’t nag.Parents need to treat a brokenhearted youngster’s feelings seriously.“Breakups are one of the major precipitators of suicidal gestures in young people,” says Dr. The vast majority of kids, though, will get over their hurt and be fine.Topping their list of questions is, “How do you know when you’re in love with somebody?” They are also genuinely curious about their parents’ courtship and marriage (“Mom, did you fall in love with Dad at first sight?