Enter online dating: engines asking you more questions than an inquisitive 6-year-old.
Lesson one: online dating requires you to know what you want.
The three of us had never had an issue with our age, until men on these sites started to highlight it – be it in messages, in conversation, or in their lock-down filters for girls under 29.
This process has made me aware that women are often more accepting of age than men are.
‘It appears being a Christian is not working on this site.
And any of the men I am interested in have probably viewed my profile, discovered that I’m over 30, and clicked off.’ Said friend is 39, and beautiful.
But this only happened because I extended the distance range to the whole of the US. With the men I did take a shine to, it felt like we had to take exams before we could actually obtain contact. Some of them may well have later fled to the Internet in the hope they’d find their wife: soft in character, tall, with model looks, joker, non-smoker, prays in tongues at least 45 minutes a day, preferably a virgin, never confronts but isn’t a pushover... I appreciate the need to have standards when it comes to finding a life partner, but not when we’re unwilling to look at ourselves, or the fear so clearly attached to so many requirements.
By the fourth step in the process, I was halfway through the first month of my subscription. This issue is not applicable purely to online Christian dating, of course, but these dating sites, I’m learning, are often where men with this sort of outlook end up.
As my London girlfriends and I started trying out exclusively Christian dating sites, such as Christian Connection, Christian Cafe and Christian Crush, the line ‘Faces that only their mother would love’ was whispered among the three of us. While many Christians have found long-term love through Christian dating sites, I’ve also heard stories of the same Christian men existing on these sites for years. Online dating creates naturally (and thankfully) more options than our local town may provide, which can catalyse the desire to be fine-tuned and higher in goal-setting – and that’s where all this gets interesting.
And too many had clearly not left the house for a while.
It began to appear that choosing the ‘spirituality is important’ option was a limitation. And why wouldn’t e Harmony let me search through the men registered for myself?