I would like the two of us to talk about that as we look toward our future together.” Don’t plow into all 10 vital money questions immediately.Instead, pick a good time when you’re both relaxed and can share uninterrupted conversation.
Is there an alternative solution, a middle approach that can work?The following suggestions from participants in our research make clear that women need to discuss money matters with their partners before making a lasting commitment: Here are 10 vital questions to ask your partner if you’re thinking about a deeper commitment or marriage.They include suggestions made by women who successfully engaged in financial conversations with their new partner – or wished they had.The examples below are intended to stimulate your own ideas rather than as rules. Why: Is the person about to make any major life changes e.g., leave their 0K/year job to go back to school? Do they see it as a job, a vocation, or are they primarily motivated by climbing the career ladder? Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings. Maybe it’s Sunday evening after dinner, enjoying your favorite beverage in a quiet spot.Try to communicate clearly, and keep that first money conversation brief – no more than 30 minutes. What you’ll learn will give you a clearer idea about what’s negotiable and non-negotiable for you and your partner.They counseled women to go slowly and be honest about the negative as well as positive consequences of a new committed relationship.A great number of them specifically suggested talking about money matters with their partner beforehand so as not to be blindsided later on.Also, if anything out of the ordinary has happened that might be affecting your date’s mood, it’s good to factor this in. Also, it’s nice to give your date an opportunity to answer a question that isn't directly about them. On a first date go for a friendly tone rather than an intimate tone when asking this question. Don’t be afraid to change plans if you arrive at a restaurant and find it’s too noisy for a good conversation.